I Think of Him
by 4everGale
Summary: Katniss misses her old hunting partner and best friend.
1. Chapter 1

Today, just like every day, I thought of him.

I went to the woods, sat at our place and thought of him. I went to that place where him and I used to meet every morning for so many years.

I do this daily.

I go into the woods and pretend that I'm waiting for him just like I did before the Hunger Games took me away. The only difference is that now he doesn't come. He never comes.

So what do I do?

I think of him.

I think about our first meeting. I remember how we became a team and then friends. No, we became so much more. I remember his smile and how watching him smile always brought a smile to my face. I remember teaching him to use the bow and him teaching me snare my pray. I remember teaching him how to swim. I remember how happy we were in the woods. It was our safe heaven when everything else was sorrow and misery.

I miss him.

I have been missing him for so many years now. And I hate myself for not having the courage to seek a reunion. Or maybe it is because I'm so mad at him for leaving me.

At first I was convince he would be back. After all this is our home. So I waited and waited. But he never came. I started to feel mad and told myself that his abandonment didn't bother me. But I was just lying to myself. Sooner or letter I had to come to the term that I missed my best friend. I used to cry for him. My heart would ace for his voice, for his presence.

Maybe he misses me too. He must. After all I was a big part of his life as well. And he loved me. I wonder if he thinks of me as much as I think of him. I wonder if his heart still holds a place for me.

Sometimes I let my mind wonder and ask myself, what would had happened if I was never reaped by the Hunger Games? Where will be today? Of course the answer is never good. Children would still be dying of hunger and every year 24 children would be sent to fight for their lives. My best friend who I miss so much would be in the mines working twelve hours a day, six days a week. Or maybe a mine explosion would have taken him away from me and I would be seating here missing him still. No thinking of that is never good. Just depressing.

But that doesn't stop me from wanting a life with him or a life where I get to enjoy his presence. Honestly, I still don't know what kind of love I had for him. All I know is that my heart misses him and aches for him.

I still don't know what I fell for Peta. I'm grateful for him. Without his help, I would have gone mad. Still, I wish I had the chance to decide who my heart wanted to love. But instead I was forced to decide. It was a life with Peta or a life or loneliness. With my mother gone, my sister gone and Gale gone, Peta was all I had left. I am grateful for his love.

Still, I can help to wonder about a life with Gale.

That is all I have left of him. Memories and a great desire to have him close. A desire to have my best friend back. To hunt together, to laugh together, to be happy together. And because I know I would never had the courage to contact him and seek a reunion, all I have left is to think of him. I know that I will continue to miss him. I know that I will fill my longing for him by thinking of him just like I have been doing until today. My heart will continue to hurt for his presence, and my tears will continue to fall during those days where my desire to touch him, hug him is so deep that my whole body hurts. I know that I will continue to love Gale Hawthorne. I will continue to come to our place and think of him every day of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

It is a beautiful day today. It is my favorite type of day. The beginning of spring. The leaves on the tree's branches are starting to come, flowers are blowing, birds are singing. The air is perfect. Not cold but not too hot. It is perfect. A perfect day for hunting but I haven't done much hunting. I have been staring into nothing for the last two hours. Watching the squirrels chase each other and listening to the chirping of the birds. Of course, I knew I was not in the hunting mood before I left the house. I was just running away. Escaping reality and the fact that I saw him today.

I saw Gale. Not face to face of course. I saw him on the television. The machine is in every house and when there is something important that the government wants us to know, the thing still goes on automatically. Just like it used to when they wanted us to watch The Hunger Games or president Snow had an announcement. I was just seating in my leaving room thinking about nothing when the thing came on and there he was. Perfectly tall and handsome as always. Strong hands uncomfortably folded in front of him. I memorized his features. He looked older but I could still see the resembles to that 16 years old boy that I meet in this same woods so many years ago. His body got wider than before, making his uniform look a little too small for his arms and back. His voice sounded a little deeper but firm as always. I could tell that he had been working nonstop. His eyes looked red and tired; and the bags under his eyes told me that he hasn't slept a good night for days. He looked so different but so familiar at the same time.

I froze, just like his body was really present in my Livingroom and those storming gray eyes were starting just at me. I vaguely remember what he was saying, but for what I heard there was a big storm that hit district 4. He was saying that the storm came unexpectedly and the residents of district 4 were not prepare. The damage was great. People were injured and buildings were destroyed. Those who survived and were uninjured had to be taken to shelters since their houses were blown away by the strong wind and rain.

He was injured too. I could see a bloody bandage around his head. I was just wondering what had happened to him when the reporter asked him about his injury. "just a little bump on the head, nothing that the doctors of district 4 can't handle" he answered. This comment took my thoughts to my mother. Was she safe? Did she see Gale? What did they talk about? Did he ask her about me? Chances are that they didn't even see each other. District 4 is big and the hospital have so many doctors. Gale probably didn't even go to the doctor. If there is work to do, a little injury would not take him away from his duty. But still, I can't help to wonder. Would my mom talk to him? Yeas, she would. After all he kept them alive when I went into the games. I would too, if I wasn't such a cower.

I thought about it. This would be the perfect opportunity to contact him. To ask him if he is okay. To tell him how much I miss him. But what if he refuses to hear me. I wouldn't be able to take his rejection, although I wouldn't blame him if he did. I even walked to the phone and started to dial my mother's number, but then I froze again. What if she talks to me about him, what will I say? And so I ran into the woods. To the place where I can close my eyes and pretend to be that sixteen years old girl waiting for her friend to show up and start a day of hunting. I lost myself in those dreams, or memories. That is all I have left. My memories. The best ones include this woods and him. That is the reason I keep coming to this place. There is no need to hunt anymore, but is the only thing that keeps me sane. I come here to cry and to relive happier times. To remember his hands working on a perfectly made snare, his feet walking without making a sound, his fingers throwing me berries. But what I crave the most is his presence. There are times, when my mind plays tricks on me, and I swear I can hear his voice or see his body moving between the trees. But he is never there. And all I'm left with are my memories of me hunting with my best friend and the desire to have him with me again.


End file.
